Fortunately, he has no interest in news, either. He gets his from the internet, ninety percent of the time - and when he doesn't, it's probably because someone brought up Obama in their amateur porn. Speaking of which, he hears her and can't help but give her a sheepish look.

"The future comes with its perks," is all he says about it. For someone who can't even imagine YouTube yet, it's hard to explain just what a game-changer broadband has been. She comes from a time when they've never done so much as kiss; he's not about to try. Passing the remote to her, he answers, "Then you spend a couple hours clicking through the options, complaining about them, and eventually falling asleep."