This is the best way to tell it, pulling blankets around them, stroking her hair as he finds the words to explain the unexplainable. How things could fall apart, how much of it is his fault.
Mulder stares up at the ceiling, letting himself luxuriate in her nearness for what might be the last time. "When we settled down - got the house, got your hospital job - I didn't...start working again. It was fine at first...but that changed."
The only way he can find to tell this story is by stating the facts. There's a weariness, bone-deep, that keeps him from trying to explain himself. What could he say? I've been doing things, you just didn't understand. She did, though, and that was half the problem.
"Our lives were too small." That's the only way he can think of it. After all their travels, they contracted into such a small space - and maybe it was too small. You needed more than I could give you, and I couldn't change fast enough to keep you."
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Mulder stares up at the ceiling, letting himself luxuriate in her nearness for what might be the last time. "When we settled down - got the house, got your hospital job - I didn't...start working again. It was fine at first...but that changed."
The only way he can find to tell this story is by stating the facts. There's a weariness, bone-deep, that keeps him from trying to explain himself. What could he say? I've been doing things, you just didn't understand. She did, though, and that was half the problem.
"Our lives were too small." That's the only way he can think of it. After all their travels, they contracted into such a small space - and maybe it was too small. You needed more than I could give you, and I couldn't change fast enough to keep you."