open post.

[jowls]

Leave prompts, you'll get nonsense.

Comments

[rockitlike]

I'm not sure we wouldn't be sucking up. But most of the friends we've had don't have particularly usable names.

[jowls]

So that's a 'no' on Frohike Mulder?

[rockitlike]

Richard Melvin Fitzgerald Mulder?

[jowls]

Langly'd hate it if we called a kid Richard.
He'd have to be Ringo.

[rockitlike]

Might still be too unwieldy for a little guy. We'd better hope she decides to be a Katherine.

[jowls]

Or we stick a different name on the front and let him have three middle names.

Which brings us back to the problem of what we'd call him, if he decides not to be a Katherine.

[rockitlike]

We could get away with calling him Kid and Junior for a few years before anyone caught on.

That or we go back to Mortimer as a first choice.

[jowls]

Kid, yes. Junior, no. At that point, we might as well name him Fox.

[rockitlike]

I mean, I am partial to Fox.

[jowls]

Yeah, but will his classmates?

[rockitlike]

That's what all the middle names are for. He can go by Melvin if he wants. Or Walter. Or Mortimer.

[jowls]

[ There's a brief pause, as though someone on the other side of the conversation is thinking about something. ]

You really like the idea of Fox Mulder II?

[rockitlike]

I like Katherine Samantha a little better.

But every Fox I've ever met has been wonderful, so why wouldn't I want you to be his namesake?

[jowls]

Because two kids sharing my name seems a little egotistical? Self-serving at the very least.

If he looks like a Fox when he comes out, then fine. But I'm still crossing my fingers for Katherine.

[rockitlike]

I guess we'll have to wait until we meet them.

But if intuition counts for anything I think it's Katherine.

[jowls]

According to my sources, at this very moment, it's a turnip.

[rockitlike]

The best possible turnip.

How's work on the nursery coming?

[jowls]

Only turnip I've ever enjoyed, that's for sure.

I was warned at the hardware store that painting the ceiling black might affect the resale value of the home. So now I'm painting the ceiling black and telling the house it's stuck with us.

[rockitlike]

That's ridiculous-- we're not painting it to sell it. And paint isn't permanent, anyway.

[jowls]

Apparently rooms painted like they're a clearing in the woods isn't a popular choice for prospective homeowners, and black is "hard to paint over." Like we're going to paint over an exact replica of the night sky.

Do we need to make a birth plan? I found some templates online.

[rockitlike]

Who would want that painted over anyway? If we were selling, anyone who didn't want that would be the wrong person for the house.

We don't need an internet birth plan. I have the advice of several doctors on this, including one who is intimately familiar with my medical history and has done this before. I'm biased but I think Doctor Scully knows her stuff.

[jowls]

And if the turnip hits thirteen and decides that murals are lame, we'll paint over my artistic masterpiece then anyway.

I like that Doctor Scully, I'd trust her with my life. But how am I going to know which aromatherapy candles to light in the delivery room if we don't write it down?

[rockitlike]

They can paint over it themself. You don't have to destroy your masterpiece over tween angst, I promise.

Doctor Scully says no open flame in the hospital. At home, lavender is ideal, or sandalwood in small doses. Rose is okay if not too chemical. No freesia.

Are you planning to pitch an idea about the placenta? We should get that over with if you are.

[jowls]

Are we doing this at home?


Scully, I didn't like liver and onions as a kid. I don't think placenta and onions is going to be much better.

[rockitlike]

No, we are not doing a home birth. I have earned an epidural and a clean room and all the good drugs insurance can buy. But you can fuss with aromatherapy and calming music as much as you want once we bring our turnip home.


Oh, good. People are doing all sorts of things with them now, I don't know what websites you've been on.